I am devastated and in complete shock...

Life changed with one phone call. I have never been in as much shock as I am in right now. Earlier today Jamie picked up the phone and I could tell right away something wasn't right, and then he hung up. I shot up and asked, " what is it? what happened?" And he said, "My mom passed away"...nothing could have prepared me for that. My heart is so sad right now.

Today I lost the person that I thought would be the grandma of my children. I always knew that she would make a great grandma, because of how loving and giving she was with her own children. She was the mother of 3 lucky boys who have grown up to become young men. I really feel like she made her life's purpose to love her family and take care of all of them and she welcomed me into the family and I always felt like a daughter to her. I can't believe she is gone.

She is the person that brought my Jamie into this world. I am forever grateful to her for raising such a thoughtful and giving person who like his mom likes to take care of people. She was the wife of my boyfriends dad who has also always treated me like a daughter, who I hope knows how much he means to me and how much I appreciate him and hurt thinking of how sad he must be feeling.

Mrs. G lead a simple life she loved her boys; she loved her dogs and she loved her husband. She was proud of her family and would always add that she was happy they all had great partners. She never spoke badly about anyone and was a smiling person who you could always count on. She never missed a birthday and had great style. She was more in fashion than I was.I will always think of her when I it's just a little chilly and Jamie is about to walk out the door without a jacket. She would always encourage him to take it.

Things are going to change with no time to adjust organically. Holidays will never be the same, going home to visit won't feel the same. She was the glue to her family and always brought the best out of everyone. I'm not sure if there is a god, or if there isn't. I don't know if there is a heaven or not, but if there's a God, then there's one more angel, and if there's a heaven she's there now reunited with her own parents.

...I lost the person I couldn't wait to call mom. I couldn't' wait to be married to Jamie. I knew how happy she'd be and how happy I'd be and Mr. G too. I couldn't wait for the group hug and to call them mom and dad. I know that would be a moment she would want to be a part of as well as holding her first grandchild. I can't think straight; I feel all over the place...God this is so hard.....